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A Heart For God: The 7 No's of a Successful Marriage

Thursday, October 08, 2009

The 7 No's of a Successful Marriage

Over 50% of all marriages today end in divorce. That means you can pretty much flip a coin and come up with heads (if you call heads) more often than most marriages will last. And quite frankly, it's because marriage is hard work for one thing. That's why they're ending at such an alarming rate. Another thing is I think we've lost an understanding of what it means to keep our word and stick out a commitment along with we've become totally consumed with "me" and "I" in this 21st century culture. It used to be "People" and "Us" Magazine. Now it's "Self." And if our marriages are ever gonna last we're going to have to be delivered of our narcissism ("inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity"~Webster's). One way to do that (and only with the Holy Spirit's help) is by making sure we're steering clear of, what I call:

The 7 No's of a Successful Marriage...

No #1: Prenuptial agreements.
No #2: Put downs.
No #3: Wandering eyes.
No #4: Vices. ("immoral or evil habits or practices"~Webster's)
No #5: Secrets.
No #6: Me first.
No #7: Living without Christ.

"For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24)

"'What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.'" (Matthew 19:6b)

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Blogger Vicky said...

I was talking to a priest, friend of mine, before I got married. His advice to me:

Temptation will always be out there, whether you look for it, or not. Will you be interested in other men after you got married? Chances are "yes, it is likely to happen". Will you regret getting married to him at some point? Yes, specially in difficult times. But you've made a choice. When you choose him to be your husband you say "this is the man I want to spend my life with, no matter what. I choose him and renounce to any other that may appear in my life in the future". Temptations will happen, difficult times will come, and you have to learn how to overcome those and stay faithfull to your choices. Most of all, to your promise. No one is saying it is easy, but this is exactly the point: you need to learn how to be strong to fullfill your promise to your husband and to God. After you are under the bonds of matrimony you and your husband become one under God's eyes. You are a family now and it is your duty to keep it sacred. It is till death do you part.

It is not easy, but we need to be responsible for our choices. Whoever marry thinking "if it doesn't work we get divorced" should never think about getting married in the first place. Not everybody has a vocation for matrimony.

5:24 PM  
Blogger you gotta wonder said...

Amen! It breaks my heart to see people throwing in the towel as if the next time it will be easier. It's not okay. Marriage is hard work, but the investment is well worth it.

2:43 PM  
Blogger princessdominique said...

Awesome, I love it and I wholeheartedly agree. I just RTed it too. I follow you on Twitter. I am @ThePluralThing. My website ( teaches people to love better and I would love to share this with them please let me know if I can repost it and link back to your site.

8:31 AM  
Blogger Verona said...

God blesses believers that marry another believer. Happiness will be stronger because of their contentment and thankfulness for all of the Lord’s blessings. It won't work to marry and expect someone to become a Christian, it may happen or not. But to ensure a true happy marriage, marrying another beleiver will always work out for the best.

12:35 PM  
Blogger Stephen Barrett said...

I'm married with 3 children. I've been married 9 years going on 10. I don't think marriage is" hard" work. Raising kids is literally "hard" work.
If people view marriage as "work" I think that it creates a negative association. Who wants to come home from work to more "work"?
What if people viewed marriage as something special and intimate, enjoyable, without the expectation of complete fulfillment.
If they viewed it as a time to get to know another person more intimately than any other and a chance to know the depth of love.

3:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beautifully said

9:35 AM  

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